Pastor here, what can make you come to church?
Nothing. Absolutely nothing. God stays out of my way. I stay out of his.
Maybe slow down on the whole touching children and banning books thing for a bit.
Hold your fellow Christians accountable. Preach love not damnation. Dont use your fairy tale as an excuse to be a peice of shit.
A sexy pastor
Naked choir
Nothing, I don't believe in "Jesus" or really any religion; my "mom" tried to force religion on me as a child
Blackjack and hookers, maybe
A funeral of someone I love. That's it
Literally nothing. I'm very proud to be pagan, because fuck all of that shit
Quit. Supporting. MAGA. Intolerance. And. Hate.
Your nut in my tummy pastor
Nothing. I'm still disgusted by what Father O'Malley did to me while I was in foster care. He'd always say "all good children submit willingly before the Lord" after he had his way with me he would say "remember if you tell anyone you'll burn in hell for all eternity"
Not making friends or heavily socializing. That has been working very nicely
Maybe if god came down to tell me to go to church himself. Otherwise I don't believe.
Nothing. I don't have any reason to go to one to begin with
Smoke a doobie with me padre and I'll think about it
Stop sucking off ✡️
Actually following the Bible remove the gay flags from your lawn ect
My parents on Christmas
Honestly, Pope Leo might convert me to Catholicism. If the church had good leadership and if church was more than a way to keep up with the Joneses, I'd go back.
Ive cum in church already