He was actively trying to pick up women while I was with him at the bar.He posted on Facebook asking if anybody got that girl's name because he forgot to get her number. Why would I think he had any interest in me?
Similar thing happened to my wife most of her life nows actually happy for once
I'm glad for that.. that's a hopeful note.... Maybe one day I'll believe that it's possible for me too..lol
It absolutely is
Thats wild behavior
Yet somehow, when I try to talk to him about it I'm just jealous and insecure for no reason instead of just straight up disrespected and now I'm confused... How he going to get mad that I was drunk and some guy kissed me when he's actively dogging me on Facebook.
Sounds a little like he's gaslighting you
Right?!?! I'm unpacking all of this because I've spent a lot of years with guilt and shame allowing myself to be treated poorly thinking I deserve to be treated poorly because of mistakes that I made... But looking back on it of course I was confused of course I didn't know how to talk to you about any of it.... And I'm not removing my accountability for the things that I did wrong and the way that I behave that was out of pocket... But now I realize that what I was reacting to and it helps to remove the power it had over me.
So leave him if he is your BF. Maybe he just sees you as a friend.
And I would have been fine just being his friend.. but that meant that there was never going to be any more sex or nakedness or fooling around of any kind... Because I'm not the kind of girl you just casually hooks up with her friends... Not most of the time LOL.. definitely not ones that I actually have feelings for.
I guess your option is to leave if that isnt your type of situationship you want to be in. That or ask to be exclusive and see what they say.
I know it was stupid for me to keep going back.. I kept trying to bully myself or compartmentalize myself or whatever so so that I could manage my reaction to the treatment I was receiving... It was pathetic and stupid to be fair he could tell that he didn't like the reaction he was receiving and kept doing the same behavior anyways... So at the end of the day we were both at fault neither one of us was the monster... And the only reason all of this is coming up now is because I was considering for a minute putting myself back into that situation but without any change on his part I'm just going to end up harming myself all over again... Yet trying to set that boundary now comes off as manipulative or like I'm trying to control him or make demands instead of just.. if you want to have a good night be nice there's no winners at this point
Damn life be going at you
It's old stuff but I spent a lot of years punishing myself for being confused and screwing things up... And then I remember things like that night that prove that I had every reason to have been confused